


Fighting is Annoying (Freeman Captured AU)

by rayna_harley



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Act 4 Final Battle, Assumed homophobia, Benrey ‘cooks’ something and it’s gross so tw, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-typical swearing, Cuddling, Freeman Captured AU, Gordon is Pissed(tm), HLVRAI, He dont got no dick or nothing tho dw, He/Him-rey, Lots of f-bombs and swearing, M/M, Mild scopophobia tw, Search and Rescue, Spooning, Sweet Voice has multiple uses, This bitch PINING! YEET!!, Wrote with midnight inspiration brain, frenrey, he’s got more than two eyes but it’s not really described gruesomely, mild body horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24874174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayna_harley/pseuds/rayna_harley
Summary: Set during the battle against Benrey in the finale of HLVRAI. Everyone is doing their best except for the boss himself, who is conflicted on whether he wants to kill them or not.The answer is neither but you should not make Benrey angry if you know what’s good for you. And Gordon.“stupid. baby ass scientists. can’t even handle the voice...”Fic was renamed to be shorter as of 7/2/2020
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 22
Kudos: 289
Collections: HLVRAI





	1. 1 - top 10 battle epic fails

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfic publicly posted! Recently got into HLVRAI and I fucking love Benrey. He is a stinky bastard alien but also a great cool and I respect that. Anyways, enjoy!

There’s most likely millions of aliens out there that love their home planets. But Xen has never, _EVER_ been fun for one of them. Especially when he’s getting shot at by four different people at once.

Benrey didn’t even _WANT_ to fight the Science Team. Especially not their dumb as fuck but ultimately alright leader. Not Tommy either, but Tommy was the only one who could dog whistle where Sunkist could hear. And he definitely didn’t want that piss-colored literal bitch to join their team.

The others may as well have died five hours ago if they hadn’t been somehow immortal, and he wished they _weren’t_. Coomer was so _goddamn_ annoying and Bubby never had a good thing to say. Eh, Bubby was a little better than Coomer since he actually agreed with the ‘Yeet Freeman to the Armymen’ plot. But he could still burn in hell with the others.

Other than Gordon.

He’s rather tear apart all his passports right then and there than see _him_ die. Sure the bastard was nothing but rude to him since the Resonance Cascade even happened, but he couldn’t explain just how he felt about fuckin’ Feetman. It was a mixture of “I will squeeze your guts out of your mouth like a toothpaste tube” and “I’d let you destroy my guts whenever you wanted”. Only thing about that was Freeman and the rest of the group would probably never speak to him again if he came out.

But right now, guts were gonna be spilled on one side or the other and there was no way to stop it-

He could stop it-

No. Terrible, horrible fucking idea. And probably impossible. If anything, it’d only delay his death by about an hour while the others are confused.

…Unless?

While a stream of bullets infiltrated his skull without mercy, the near-useless raisin inside of it had a Thought™. If nobody knew what happened, he could escape with his own life and no-one would have to die. But he just couldn’t yet. Instead of putting his plan into action right off the bat, he decided to listen to some of what they were saying as he shot at them with four arms on one gun.

“ _SHOOT THAT MOTHERFUCKER!_ ”

Bubby’s snarky voice, of course. He aimed the gun at him as he was firing for a few seconds out of spite.

“which one, huh?” Was the retort he could think of in such a short time. Bubby had managed to roll out of the way, giving him the double bird. He didn’t respond to Bubby’s _kind gesture_ other than an angered twitch of the eye.

“Coomer, there’s another- another portal but it’s really high! On the rocks! What do we do!?” Tommy called out to the elderly scientist in distress.

“Can you reach it with a Jump Pad? Jump Pads can be used to increase your jump height!”

“…No.”

“Then maybe Gordon can help!”

“I can’t exactly _help_ right now, guys-” Gordon called back accompanied by the constant fire of bullet-fingernails against the three skeletons that were surrounding him. “Christ, these things are _ANNOYING_!”

“Oh- Oh no! Mr. Freeman!” Tommy yelped, firing bullets as fast as he could at the skeletons while gritting his teeth with anxiety. “Please don’t let me hit him- hit Gordon…”

Gordon was definitely hit once or twice, but the bullets were stopped by the bulletproof lead of his HEV Suit. He was mostly focused on dispatching the bony fucks in the midst of a cloud of blue orbs he was trying his absolute hardest not to breathe in. One of the skeletons got its hand stuck in his helmet as he pulled it on. Its body crumbled, leaving the other two to try and close the gap and position themselves on either side of him.

Benrey cringed each time one of his skeletons ‘died’, since their connection meant he felt everything they felt. Pain wasn’t just bad because it _hurt_ , however. For him, pain meant he was going to have a hard time controlling himself. Goddammit.

Benrey got tired of standing up to fight the crew and got down on all fours, using his extra two arms to shoot while he could crawl for better mobility. Coomer ran directly towards him for a punch, and got an animalistic growl and strong slap away in response.

He still wanted to wait, but he could barely handle what was going on right now-

And as soon as he thought that, a grenade went off directly onto his face, blinding him in five of his eyes and causing him to ROARR.

“ _ **you fucks do not fucking stop and i’m fucking losing it FUCK OFF**_ ” He howled, the ‘fuck off’ a sound to bust a normal person’s eardrums at close range.

The few of his remaining eyes left functional gained pupils as thin as needles, and he arched his back, letting out another

 _ **ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**_.

As he did, a plethora of giant, light-gray bubbles rolled out of his gaping maw. Benrey fully knew what he was doing, and it was part of the plan.

Several of the bubbles popped almost as soon as they left Benrey’s mouth, dissipating into smoke of the same color.

Tommy, a master of Sweet Voice translation, realized what the color meant, eyes widening. “Oh-Oh god! Everyone duck for cover please- You really don’t wanna- wanna get these in your system because…” His voice, though starting as another scream, trailed off as he stumbled to the side a little and fell over.

“Tommy!?” All three of the remaining scientists yelled in unison.

Gordon smashed the skeleton he hadn’t yet defeated one more time before dashing over to Tommy’s side and immediately turning him over to check his pulse. Even though he only had to do so one way or the other, he ended up feeling Tommy’s wrist and listening to his chest at the same time. Normal… resting heartbeat. Gordon cocked an eyebrow, listening for another minute before sitting up. He winced a bit, holding his head like he had gotten a headache.

“He’s fine, just asleep. Guess these stupid balls are some kinda sedative.” He remarked to the others, patting the unconscious Tommy’s shoulder a little as he got up. He glanced upwards at where he thought the others were.

“…Guys?”

Both Coomer and Bubby were down too, smoke enveloping the entire room. Coomer had passed out like a rock, landing in what could only be described as a t-pose. Bubby, meanwhile, was slumped against the rocks, having tried to keep himself awake by standing, to no avail.

“Oh shit…” Gordon took in their appearances and thanked fuck he had activated his suit’s helmet earlier during the fight. He stood up straight and stared up at the giant Benrey, who had regenerated the rest of his eyesight and was now staring directly into Gordon’s soul with all eight of his fucked up cat eyes. And just staying there, on hands and feet.

Gordon stared back in confusion, wondering why he was completely still and not even blinking once.

“…What the _fuck_ are you doing. You look like a scared- tiger or something. Blink, motherfucker!”

Benrey slowly blinked each of his eyes, still gazing upon Gordon and not making a move.

Gordon threw his arms up in defeat, and heard a distinct _clunk_ as his left arm hit something. “Oh FUCK-”

He changed his left arm’s path and tried to elbow the skeleton down, but it was grabbed and yanked back. Gordon was spun around by force and screamed as his helmet was grabbed. He kicked at the skeleton with full force, trying to find his crowbar with his other arm.

“Shit goddammit- C’mere you little-” After stretching, he managed to grab the crowbar and beat the skeleton over the head just as soon as his helmet was pried open. Gordon held his breath as soon as it happened, nearly none of the smoke getting in. He managed to send the skeleton back, but it leapt back forward and grabbed him by both shoulders. “GET OFF- _uCKACKGH_ ” he gagged. The skeleton had let out gray orbs straight into his mouth as he was screaming.

Gordon shoved the skeleton off of him, turning to the side as he coughed violently in an attempt to get the gas out of his lungs. His vision quickly blurred, and he staggered a few more steps away from the skeleton before collapsing with a small splash into the ankle-deep water.

Benrey watched it happen, all eight eyes focusing on Gordon as he fell asleep. He kept dead silent the entire time, to not wake the others up? He didn’t know himself. He glanced over at the skeleton looking at him, then back at Gordon.

It seemed to take a moment to process before clacking over to Gordon’s body and picking him up. The skeleton then floated up to Benrey’s level, who held his hands out for it to lay him down in.

Benrey wasn’t on too large of a scale that Gordon was miniscule in his hands. In fact, the scientist’s six-foot-something ass fit perfectly across two of them.

Benrey stood up, dispersing the skeleton and smoke.

“…nice. probably gonna kill me when they realize i yoinked feetman right out from under their noses but it’s worth it. stupid. baby ass scientists. can’t even handle the voice.”

He ended up shrinking back down to his humanoid form, shutting his eight eyes so they’d merge back into two. His arms had reduced to the normal number as he had gone back to normal size as well.

Benrey glanced down at Freeman’s sleeping form in his arms and blinked a bit. He didn’t realize, but his cheeks had flushed for a moment when he did.

“fuckin. weak baby feetman. gotta. carry him like a toddler.”

Benrey exited the boss stage through the portal in which he’d entered, hoping it’d be for the last time.


	2. wake me up inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon wakes up and is Fucking Pissed(tm).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Benrey ‘cooks’ something and it’s kinda graphic. So if you don’t wanna see that skip from “There were a few barnacles” to “Three hours had passed.”  
> Also eating stuff, which is the paragraph starting with “Gordon reluctantly glanced”.  
> Enjoy!

It was hours before Gordon woke up.

Benrey had taken him to another cave far away from where he put the rest of the Science Team to sleep. He hoped that it would take them at least several days to find his whereabouts. In his head, that was for self-preservation. They would absolutely destroy him if he was found, _especially_ after he abducted their leader.

Benrey had chosen this cave specifically because it nurtured soft blue grass in the middle, on which he laid Gordon’s sleeping body.

“…pfft. feetman in undertale. what will he do.”

He would just lay there, unmoving but for the rise and fall of his chest. He talked in his sleep a bit, Benrey trying to make sense of the words to no avail. So he just decided to watch him. It was very boring, but he wouldn’t look away.

One hour passed.

Benrey had taken to laying next to Gordon, resting the scientist’s head gently against his. He blushed once again, and noticed, forcing it to disappear, mumbling that it would be stupid and gay if anyone saw it. He had nothing else better to do than wait, having left his PSP back in the locker room in Black Mesa. That was too far back to grab now. So he waited, taking in all the details of the cave.

He remarked internally that Gordon’s hair was soft. It smelled like shit, but that’s because _nobody_ had been able to take a real shower since even before the Resonance Cascade. Smell didn’t really matter to him, either.

Benrey glanced at the glasses on Gordon’s face, which had been cracked slightly. He was unsure of whether it had happened before they fought, or if he caused it. It probably didn’t matter. He could just get new lenses after he got home, anyway. He ended up poking Gordon on the cheek - not once, but several times - eliciting no response.

Two hours had passed by now.

Benrey listened to Gordon’s heartbeat every so often to make sure he was still alive. Each one lasted a bit longer than the one before. Maybe he was wanting to cuddle. Maybe he was just fascinated with humans. It didn’t matter. Actually it did matter. He did want to cuddle, and thought ‘fuck it- why not?’

Benrey turned over on his side, hugging Gordon around his chest. It made him feel a bit warm and fuzzy, and that tiny feeling was too big to ignore. This continued for half an hour, him deciding to take a nap while he hugged the other.

He woke up with his legs curled around one of Gordon’s and his cheeks burned redder than all the previous times combined. Thank whoever the fuck was out there Gordon wasn’t aware of what was happening. He ended up letting go of Gordon and standing up, holding his head for a moment. When was the last time he’d eaten? Probably at least two days ago. He could go out and grab something, maybe a barnacle, or ‘ropes’ as Dr. Coomer called them… The growling from his stomach said yes. So he did.

There were a few barnacles hanging from the ceiling. He grabbed one by its sticky tongue and yanked as hard as he could, the entire thing coming off and landing on the ground. He shifted his fingers into claws and stabbed it to death, quickly and repeatedly.

After he removed its tongue, he cut it up and cooked each piece on one of the glowing stalactites littering the wall. They were burn-your-arm-to-ash hot, so this was achieved easily.

Xen ‘food’ was definitely not as delicious as anything you would get on Earth. He remembered doing this before he moved there, in his first form, but Earth stuff had spoiled him. He still ate some of the meat anyway, stacking what he didn’t wanna eat on a flat rock he thought looked like a plate. Barnacle meat was akin to beef, but felt like shrimp in his mouth, to the point he almost had trouble swallowing. ‘gordon ramsay would call me a. fucking caveman.’ he thought. … _Gordon_ Ramsay.

Three hours had passed. Benrey was starting to become concerned for Gordon. He knew the scientist was a heavy sleeper, but he was taking forever. He wished he would just _wake up already_ so that he would have company. He poked Gordon’s cheek again, rapidly, for a solid five minutes, at which point his hand was in agony and he had to stop.

“just fucking. wake up already, feetman.”

He stared at Gordon for a few more moments, aggravated, before he realized something important.

Gordon might try and run away when he wakes up.

His eyes widened a bit, his head quickly filling with thoughts on what he should do. ‘leave him be and explain’ _‘no_ you gotta restrain him he’s. gonna run. or shoot you’ ‘no if you explain he’ll believe you’ ‘explain what?? that i’m fuckin gay for him and wanted to. to keep him as a fuck trophy??’ ‘then just leave him be and… walk away so the others can find him’ ‘fuck no’

Benrey growled and shook his head with both arms to dismiss all the thoughts.

He wasn’t gonna let Gordon run away and maybe get himself hurt, or snitch on him for his location, either. So he looked around and grabbed the barnacle tongue. It made a good rope, _ironically_ , and he used it to tie Gordon’s arms to his sides. Not too tight to cut his circulation off, he knew how humans worked, but tight enough to secure them in place. He tied Gordon’s legs at the ankles, too. Gordon would probably complain endlessly about the rope being gross, but he was prepared for it.

Benrey stepped back and admired his work, then went to sleep for another hour, spooning Gordon once again.

Four hours brought Benrey to the end of his patience. He sat up, smacking Gordon on the cheek, only to grumble when the only reaction was a small jolt.

“fuck. gotta do everything myself, don’t i.”

He waited a moment to see if the other would stir a bit, before humming. He spat out a steady stream of yellowish bubbles right in Gordon’s face, hoping it’d work. Each one popped and let out a small puff of yellowish smoke.

He kept spewing bubbles for a while, starting to get a lot more irritated, when the scientist turned his head a bit and faced away from Benrey.

“…Fuck, Benreyyy… Please…”

He immediately stopped with the Sweet Voice. Gordon sat up, trying to open his eyes. There was a sigh and then silence.

“yo.”

Gordon jolted, finally opening his eyes in a panic and attempting to point the minigun arm at Benrey.

“What the _**FUCK**_ DID YOU _DO_ TO ME-”

“relaax, bro. all i did was let you get sleep.”

“That’s a _blatant fucking lie!_ You fucking- kidnapped me! Where are the others, did you kill them!? Are they tied up in some other fucked up cave-”

Benrey blew blue bubbles in Gordon’s face, making him relax a bit after they popped.

“…Fuck you and your balls.”

“gladly. be happy to grow one for ya.”

“Ex _CUSE_ ME-”

He leaned over and kissed Gordon on the cheek, who yelped and retaliated by headbutting him.

“OW! _SHIT_!” Gordon ended up falling back over, to which Benrey snorted.

“bonked your head, didja? need help, lil baby feetman?”

“If I had use of my arms you would be full of _holes_. Where did you even take me?”

“just. another cave. this one’s special, it’s got a bed.”

Gordon paused, feeling the grass with his normal hand. “…Okay. I will admit it’s pretty comfortable. But still you did not have to up and _abduct_ me. What kind of point are you even trying to _make_?”

“nothin’, feetman, i just…” Care for you. That’s what he _wanted_ to say, at least.

“Do you wanna kill me? Or do you wanna act out your like- tentacle porn fantasies on me or whatever.”

Benrey went red and shoved Gordon over onto his other side, incurring a teasing snicker from him.

“fucking _**neither**_. you probably can’t die with that stupid. armor you got on.”

“I can since you took my helmet off.”

“shut up i’ll. kiss you again.” Benrey glared daggers at the other, yet, his flushed cheeks subtracting from the seriousness of his expression.

“…Alright, I’ll cease.”

Benrey turned around, huffing and growling a little bit.

Gordon glanced over at the pile of barnacle meat and then back at Benrey in disgust.

“What in the holy goddamn is on that rock.”

“…it’s the ropes, bro.”

“The ropes- did you seriously- ew, euugh.” He sat up again, coughing and shuddering from the sheer disgust he felt.

“…it’s not terrible. just like. steak or something.”

“If you think I am going to eat _that_ shit then I think it’s too late for you, buddy.”

“your loss.”

Gordon sat quietly and thought for a moment, before breaking the silence.

“Do you have anything else?”

“nope.”

“So… do I _have_ to eat this if I don’t wanna starve?”

“yup.”

“Fuuck. Fine. But only some.”

Benrey grumbled and cut a bite-size piece off of the stack with a claw, eliciting another disgusted grunt from Gordon, and speared it on the claw. He swung it right at the scientist’s face, causing him to flinch. Benrey stopped a few inches before he could hit him.

“fuckin’. eat. baby ass gordos.”

Gordon reluctantly glanced at it before biting into it, taking it off the claw. He chewed a little, gave an interested ‘hm’, before swallowing it.

“…It’s alright. But unless you have a fork or something, I’m not about to have any more.”

“then fuckin- eat these.” Benrey fumbled in his pocket and threw something into Gordon’s lap. He peeked down at it, saw that it was a small portion-size bag of Doritos, and squinted at him.

“You fucker, I knew you had something.”

“just _**eat**_.”

So he did. Sort of. He had to bend over and grab each chip out of the bag with his teeth. He finished after a few minutes, and everything went back to silence.

Benrey glanced back at Gordon after what had seemed like forever, then turned back around. Gordon cocked an eyebrow.

“Dude?”

The alien jumped a little bit.

“uh- um. it’s nothing.”

Another moment of silence.

“I can sense it’s _something_. Tell me?”

“…feetman. are you ok with uh. gay people.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support! As you can tell by the cliffhanger, there *will* be a chapter 3 soon. :))) I hope you enjoyed and have a great day <3


	3. bro we are gaymers bro?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey has confronted Gordon on his views and the response is both entirely what he expected and completely unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No content warnings for this chapter except body horror??? It’s not really horror just an extra arm. But I wanted to add that just in case it does make you uncomfortable.

“…feetman. are you ok with uh. gay people.”

Benrey and Gordon sit in silence for a minute after the question, looking at each other with a million thoughts running through their heads. Neither of them dared to make another move, whether to answer or add on to their question.

Gordon finally opened his mouth after a full 90 seconds of sitting there, floored by it.

“…Benrey are you _fucking_ serious?”

Benrey flinched a little after hearing his response.

“whuh? am i serious about what bro? all i asked was-”

“I fucking _heard_ you! Is this the entire reason you fucking. Tranquilized me with your- whatever the fuck _that_ was!? And then brought me here and tied me up because you wanted to ask my opinion on-”

Benrey cut Gordon off in the middle of his rant, slamming his fist on the rocks, yelling “just fucking say you’re a phobe dude!”

There was another long, awkward moment of silence.

“Dude…”

“don’t fucking. ‘duuude’ me back. if you’re a fuckin phobe just say it and get it over with.”

Benrey turned back away from Gordon and grumbled, while the physicist threw up his arms and made a _wwwHHHHHHGGGH_ noise of pure pent-up frustration.

“Benrey what the _fuck_!?”

“did i fucking st-“

_“I’M BI!”_

Benrey went back to his traditional silent state for a moment, then turning around awkwardly.

“that’s… sounds like a you problem don’tcha think?”

“Oh, come the _fuck_ on. You’re gay, aren’t you? Why else would you have asked!?”

All Gordon got in response was an enlongated ‘mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm’.

“Dude, just answer me.”

“you’re- you’re dodgin the question. bro.”

Gordon sighed in annoyance and flopped back down on his back.

“ _Yes_ , Benrey. _Yes_ , I am okay with ‘gay people’. Is that clear enough?”

“pretty clear, mr uhhhhh. gaydon feetman.”

“I swear as soon as I get out of this rope I’m going to _destroy_ you.”

“oh shit nice gaydon actually does wanna-”

“NOT in that way.”

Benrey turned his legs around and faced Gordon, looking him in the eyes.

“was that an. unepic true statement or a classic gaydon joke moment.”

Gordon repeated Benrey’s words about a hundred times in his head, but he still didn’t make sense.

“…In _English_?”

“were you bein serious about the ‘weeeehhh i’m gonna kill you mleeeehhh’ or was it an anger moment?”

Gordon gave another exasperated sigh and answered him.

“An anger moment, I guess. I don’t actually want to kill you, but like… What the fuck was that back there?”

“that was uh. my secret powers.”

“For real?” came an interested reply.

“yeah. and besides. if you were just gonna have to kill me anyway, i may as well be bad.”

“…I _cannot_ believe whatever brainworms you put in me, but I’m honestly sympathizing with you right now. Better not abuse it.”

“bro i literally just said i was fine with murdering you guys.”

“Because you had to, right? And not because you wanted to?”

“…yeah.”

_Siiigh_. “Dude, you could’ve just… Nevermind, knowing you you’d probably never have told me that.”

Benrey stopped responding and instead started moving, leaning over and grabbing the rope around Gordon’s feet

“okay. lemme just yknow.”

“Alright, dude, it’s fine with me.”

“touch those feet.”

Benrey had a swift kick delivered to his lower jaw for that, to which he snorted a little and rubbed it. He finished untying Gordon’s feet, and let Gordon stretch his legs out with relief.

“Thank God, Benrey. You have no idea how fucking painful that was on my nuts.”

“probably right. i don’t have any idea.”

“Huh?”

Benrey didn’t have a clever response to that, but did waddle around behind Gordon on his knees and untie his arms. Gordon stretched out and yawned, a good enough stretch to make his entire body vibrate at its climax.

“you nervous or something?”

“No, why?- Ohhhh. Nah, it’s just a thing that happens when you stretch.”

“huh. weird. guess that’s a human thing.”

Benrey scooted back around and sat beside Gordon, looking probably the least tense he’d seen the alien. He patted Benrey on the back, making him smile. Geniunely.

“so feetman, you… interested in me?”

“IIIIIiii will have to think about that. Long. And hard.”

“just like y-”

“Am I going to have to actually strangle you?”

“nah, not unless you want me to put you to sleep again.”

“Better not.”

Benrey teasingly turned and opened his mouth, to which Gordon chopped him in the front of the throat. Benrey let out a _hueghh_ and grabbed at where he was kicked, coughing for a moment until he was able to choke-sing some purple. He was fine, even though he didn’t look like it.

“That’s better. What color even was that stuff? White?”

“gray, bro. like a sheep.”

“But sheep are white!?”

“nah, they’re gray. gaydon doesn’t know his colors does he.”

“Of fucking course I know my colors, man, and sheep aren’t wh- _gray_! God dammit.”

Benrey shrugged and stood up, pulling Gordon up with him, who didn’t have a second’s worth of say in the matter.

“Dude, can you not-“

“shh. bro.”

Benrey held a hand in front of the scientist, becoming silent himself. Sure enough, skittering could be heard, and a headcrab jumped through the cave entrance at them. But before Gordon could even raise his minigun arm, Benrey had impaled the thing through the mouth with his arm, which was now covered in acid green blood.

“Oh good. Christ, you’re really violent with those things for a member of the same race.”

“i’m not one but thanks for the compliment gordie.”

Gordon cocked an eyebrow, stepping forward a little.

“That. Had to be the most normal thing you’ve called me this entire time.”

“alright freeshfries.”

“…Better than Feetman, still.”

“alright feetman.”

“You’re hopeless.”

Benrey howled with his cackly laugh, the first time Gordon had heard it for real since the elevator moment. He watched him a second, before snickering and eventually joining in too.

“C’mere, man.” Gordon called out to him, grabbing Benrey around the waist and pulling him into a hug, to which the other went dead silent again.

“…Too much?”

“aaAAAH” Benrey threw his head back and a plethora of pink bubbles escaped his mouth. Gordon let go of Benrey, backing away from him.

“Oh god those aren’t gonna make me- _yknow_ , right!?”

“no, idiot those are- the emotion ones. means i can’t fuckin think right then. that’s all.”

“Okay thank _god_.”

A skeleton peeked in the doorway before sorta hovering over to Benrey and talking to him in some sort of unintelligible whisper. It didn’t move it’s mouth, which was the most confusing part to Gordon.

“What’s it saying?”

The skeleton kept talking for a moment, then stopped and moved back a foot.

“uhh. they said there’s still been no signs of the science bitches.”

Another two skeletons clipped through the wall, looking at Gordon, who put his hand and minigun up in front of him.

“Hey, no, don’t come closer,” The skeletons came closer to him anyway, “I’m _not_ gonna kill you guys.”

One of the new skeletons squawked at Benrey, who shook his head.

“nah, gordon’s fine, bro.”

It stopped and looked back at Gordon, as if assessing him.

And then it let out another beam of Sweet Voice. This one seemed different from the other two types, the bubbles popping into some kind of slime that he couldn’t quite get off. He shook his arm, yelping, and getting said arm stuck to the minigun as soon as it touched the stuff. The skeleton didn’t stop, either, floating sround Gordon to try and cover him in it. The other two joined in as Gordon tried to run, but his feet got stuck and he was sent crashing to the floor.

“Oh god Benrey they’re cacooning me make them stop-”

Benrey let out an alien noise similar to the ones the skeletons were making before, and they instantly stood down. He walked over to Gordon and picked him up by the shoulders with ease.

“Jesus, man, you’re strong!”

“yeah, what about it.” Benrey remarked as he yanked bits of the stuff off of Gordon and tossed it aside. With a third arm.

“And very creepy seriously how can you just- _change_ like that!?”

“alien powers bro. have you even been paying attention?”

“I’ve been trying to! Just- so much shit is going on I can’t keep track, you know!?”

“that. also sounds like a you problem.”

Benrey got Gordon completely unstuck, letting him go and getting rid of the third arm.

“…Alright, dude. If they aren’t gonna listen to you we’ve gotta get rid of the skeletons.”

“bro they do listen to me. they just can’t speak english.”

“Can you teach them?”

“probably not.”

“Well, then, just get rid of them.”

“dude, i can’t just do that, they’re like. they’re a part of me. and they’re keepin surveillance on the planet so.”

“So!? You could do that yourself! You can grow to like- 50 feet!”

“yeah but the skeletons are special yknow? make my job a lot easier.”

“ _Fine_ , I don’t want to argue with you on this.”

There was that skeleton noise again, this time being emitted from what had to be 50 of them all coming from different directions.

“ohhh god oh fuck. that probably means the others are awake.”

“Probably!? Thank fuck! I can finally just go back to them-”

“nooo, feetman. don’t go away…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The coming chapters are gonna be f un! :)  
> Glad I could write with funky distracted brain, yknow?


	4. bro what-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The science team wakes up from their sudden 8-hour rest.

The rest of the science team was indeed awake, confused and disoriented. No harm had come to any single member of the team since they had been knocked out, nor were they moved anywhere else.

Bubby was the first to wake up, giving himself a moment to put his glasses back on and adjust to the light. He was soaking wet due to the shallow layer of water covering the entire cave floor, but it wasn't deep enough to cover his face. He was thankful it wasn't, since if it was the three of them probably would have drowned by then.

The first move Bubby made when he came to was to wake up the others, starting with Coomer. Coomer was a heavy sleeper, so he gave some trouble, but ultimately did wake him up.

"Hello G-" was the first thing out of his mouth as he immediately jumped up and into his normal fighting stance.

"Ah, Hello Bubby! Has anyone seen Dr. Freeman?" He asked as he began to repeatedly punch the skull of one of the dead skeletons.

"No, I'm assuming that he's either dead or fighting that alien bastard somewhere else."

Coomer listened to Bubby speak, stopping his punches and standing back up.

"Oh, dear! That could be very dangerous! I recommend to complete this boss fight with three to four players based on di-"

Bubby cut Coomer off by placing a hand on his shoulder. "I hear you, Harold. We're _going_ to find Gordon and then kill that bastard after, if he's even still on this planet."

Bubby was met with a blunt "Alright!" and the impact noises of each of Coomer's punches returned. The elderly scientist sighed, walking over to Tommy and shaking him by the shoulder.

Tommy didn't respond at first, but he did start to sleep-talk after a few moments.

"...mmmnnhh... Sunkist..." He mumbled, sitting up and hugging what he thought to be his beloved immortal dog.

"Get the _fuck_ off of me!" Bubby yelled as he was hugged, scrambling to get out of Tommy's grip. He woke the younger scientist up, who quickly let go of him and scooted back.

"Ah- um- I'm sorry Dr. Bubby- I thou- I thought- thou- thought you- I thought you were Sunkist, since she usually wakes me up... :("

" _Don't_ \- say another word about it, kid. You're fine, just. Don't hug me. Hugs are uncomfortable."

"Unless they are from me, my good bitch!" Coomer came up from behind Bubby and gave him a great big hug around the waist, earning a rather long bout of cussing and a red face.

"Aww..."

"Shut the _FUCK_ -"

Tommy giggled and stood up, picking his propeller hat off of the ground and placing it on top of his head as if it were a crown. He glanced upwards to see that where there had been Benrey, 30 feet tall and grinning down at them with all but murderous joy, there was nothing. The cave was empty except for him and the other two scientists.

“Uh, um. Guys? Where did Mr. Freeman and- and the big Benrey go? Did one of them die?”

Bubby sighed and rubbed his temples after being let go of Coomer, holding his gun up with his other hand. “Can’t be too sure, like I said earlier. He might’ve tried to escape. Also can’t believe _I’m_ saying this, but I hope Freeman is alright at least.”

“Well we gotta- We gotta find him! Or them! Where do you think they went?”

“Fuck knows, but they definitely aren’t here. Harold, have you got any more grenades?”

“I always have grenades on my person, Dr. Bubby! I’m required to carry them at all times for safety reasons!”

“Alright, gimme one. I’m gonna blast this place open.” Bubby held out his free hand, in which Dr. Coomer placed an unactivated grenade. He then pulled the pin, lit the grenade on fire with his pyrokinesis, and threw it at the wall of the cave, which was destroyed in an explosion upon impact.

Bubby dusted his hands of any leftover flames or dust and headed to the gaping hole that had formed.

“Now that we’re out of here, let’s _at least_ start searching for the two of them.”

“Dr. Bubby, that is a fantastic idea! How shall we do it?”

“Well. I’d like to split up, but there are only three of us, and I’m not about to let _Tommy_ search by himself.”

“Oh- don’t worry about that! I have Sunkist’s whistle with me, I can search with her!” Tommy fumbled in his pockets for a moment, producing a whistle that would presumably be able to call Sunkist.

“…Are you sure that thing can be used to call a dog that could be _light-years_ away?”

“…Yeah! She’s Sunkist, I’m sure she could hear it!”

Tommy smiled over at Bubby, who rolled his eyes, before blowing into the dog whistle as hard as he could. Sure enough, after a few minutes of nothing and a complaint from the elder scientist, Sunkist leapt through the hole in the cave wall from seemingly nowhere, running up and tackling Tommy to the ground.

Tommy laughed and gave Sunkist lots of scritches on her ears and back, hugging the huge Golden Retriever and standing back up.

“Um, Sunkist, can- can you help me search for Gordon and- maybe Benrey? After that we can go home and I’ll give you a big treat! One of your favorites, the ones that you can bake n they’re made of real beef!”

A happy _bwoof!_ resounded from Sunkist, who sat on her hind legs and flapped her tail. Tommy pet her on the head and climbed on her back, and she stood up, her 6 foot tall form easily being able to hold him. Tommy hugged Sunkist’s neck and smiled from ear to ear.

“…Right.” Bubby cleared his throat, trying to shake off the utter confusion he was feeling from what he had just witnessed. “Let’s get a move on. Tommy, you go search with… your dog, and I’ll search with Harold.”

“Alright Dr. Bubby!! Be safe, Dad’ll be upset if you guys get hurt before my birthday!” Tommy waved at the two scientists and patted Sunkist on the head, who hopped out of the cave without another second wasted.

Coomer waved back at Tommy, and Bubby was left wondering what the fuck that meant.

“Well, we should be off, Dr. Bubby! We don’t have much time to waste!”

“ _Please_ , Harold, just call me Bubby.”

“Well, we should be off, Bubby! We don’t have much time to waste!”

Bubby sighed once more, smiling a little at his partner’s repetition. He’d rather listen to him ramble on about the most mundane things imaginable than have to fight Benrey soon again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I’ve been having issues keeping track of time in general, since staying inside all day fs with my energy level! Here you guys go, no Benrey or Gordon this chapter but I’ll definitely include them in the next.
> 
> ‘,:)

**Author's Note:**

> :))  
> I hope you enjoyed! This isn’t gonna turn nsfw whatsoever.
> 
> But anyways, leave a comment if you enjoyed! If this does well I’ll probably continue it!


End file.
